Let's call this DAY 1

Ok, I am really really serious about this now. I hopped on the scale and it was NOT pretty. I am up 16 pounds from my lowest I hit last January. I had gained and lost about 5 pounds and then this past summer I was stricken with piggybacking arthrits flare ups. They are under control now, but the weight gain is not. I expected to gain a bit, but 10 pounds was crazy. Now 16 is even worse.
So today I start my 2 weeks without bread/crackers/pasta whatever diet. Really, it's all I need to do. Cut out the carbs-VOILA! weight lost. I'll check back in a few days, maybe on day 4 to give an update.
No more excuses.

My bio

Name: Spatula
Age: 33
Starting Weight: Between 150 and 200
.Size: 11-14 depending on the store( I prefer the 11 stores)
Weightloss Goal: 160 pounds with ideally getting to 155
Weightloss Plan: Curves, and now with the Curves Smart system, I can't plateau or slack on the circuit, my new pedometer and the Wii fit
Weightloss Strengths: I know HOW to lose weight, I just need the stregth do DO it.
Weightloss Weaknesses: I love bread. Bread is my enemy-'nough said.
Inspirations: apair of $200 jeans I am coveting, to be able to wear clothes because they look good- not because they hide the rolls.
General about me: 2 kids, husband of 6.5 years, spatual collection. 2 cats, and a tankful of fish.

Tim Horton's challenge - week 1

So far, I'm doing quite well I think. I have in front of me my 2nd cup of ANYTHING from Tim's since last Friday. I had my first cup & a ww muffin on Monday morning, and just got my 2nd cup today for break (pay day - had to celebrate :)).

I had a brainstorm today when I went, to make sure I didn't cheat and get any extra goodies for my desk. I just took a toonie with me instead of my whole wallet. This won't work if I'm out running errands or whatever, but when I'm at work it will. Simple, but effective. That's me, hah.

Plus, now that the PMS bloat and halloween candy are gone, I'm down almost 7 lbs from the end of October. PHEW. Ok, I still have a hell of a long way to go, but at least it gives the appearance that I'm losing weight. Har.

I just made my first acupuncture appointment - for next Wednesday at 4. cannot wait!

Ok, over n out,
m.

I'm new, please be gentle

Hello all,

I asked to join this blog as a way to get my ass moving and be responsible for my actions. Mostly those actions involve eating all of leftover kids food , which I have learned DOES add up. OY.
So a bit about me- 33, 2 kids and a hubby. Oh and about 25 pounds above my goal. I did make it to 11.5 pounds to my goal but an unfortunate summer of arthritis really did a number on me. So I am back at it.

Still alive.

Hola. Been a while, I know, I know.

Let's see, what's been going on? Not much, really. Oh, other than I gave notice at my permanent job, and started a term position with the feds; went away 2/4 weekends since I wrote last; and uh, Halloween. What do these three things mean? Craptastic eating. What does that mean? I should start oinking Saturday around 3pm if I keep things up (hence the piggy face). I stepped on the scale today, and it was NOT pretty. Pretty fugly number, really. Boooo.

So what am I going to do about it? Well, SB has challenged me to cut the Timmies runs that I'm prone to while I"m at work. I get 2 cups of tea/week, and 1 baked good. Since starting the new job (a whole week and a half now), I've averaged probably 3 cups/day during the week, plus, more often than not, a couple of cookies or a fritter or a ww raspberry muffin (YUM!) to go with the tea. Oink oink oink. I'm going to pick up some Splenda packages tomorrow, and some yummy tea to keep at my desk. We have a kettle on the floor, I might as well use it, right?

In other news, the naturopath thang is going all right. I had my follow-up this evening, and she's pretty happy with how things are going. She still wants me to work on the liver stuff - more leafy greens, etc. Once that gets working, we'll start on acupuncture to get me ready for IVF. Wheeeeeeeee!

Maybe this will get me back on track. . .

Wow. Long time no blog. Chelle was very right about the mess that was September, internet-wise. Through the worst of it, I wasn't really up to eating, and started to think bad thoughts about continuing to not eat in order to lose weight. I then decided to tell people about it so that I wouldn't fall into that trap.

Mr. SB and I had a crappy couple of weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, topped off with some really bad eating during a road trip to Calgary (as well as an evening of a bunch of wine with some awesome girls). Have you ever been to Marble Slab?? Delish, but oh so bad for me. Thank god there isn't one any closer to me!

We're back on the wagon now though (even though we bought fudge, candied popcorn, a carmel apple and chocolate marshmallows at the trade show yesterday). I'm counting it all though!

I also did some meal planning for this week, as I'm so tired of the usual stuff that I make. Tonight, I made pork loin in the slowcooker, and some delish broccoli cheddar stuffed potatoes. Should I post the recipe?

*tap tap*

This thing on?

Please forgive the lack o' entries of late - September was quite chaotic around the POSO households. Hopefully things are back on track though.

I'll give you a bit of an update on me though. Still fat :P Still exercising highly irregularly. I have started seeing a naturopath though, with sights set on getting healthier and prepping me bod for IVF next year sometime. Might as well start early, eh? (plus, I thought I'd take advantage of this year's health plan allowance so I can spread out some stuff over the two years worth of coverage. Smrt, eh?) So the naturopath is looking at a few things specifically - thyroid function, stomach acid production, and stress response, esp. with my ovaries in mind. Hopefully, this will also help me lose a bit of weight too, but we'll see.

I had a weird thing happen yesterday though, and it was actually the 2nd time in about 2 weeks that it had happened. I had someone comment on how it 'really looks like I've lost weight, especially through the middle'. Sweet! But, I'm pretty sure I haven't lost much, if any, in months. And this person who said it yesterday? Hadn't seen me in a year (we were volunteering at the Run For the Cure). Weird. But hey, I"ll take it. And hmmm, maybe it's NOT about the numbers after all. What a concept.

Wii Fit Challenge - official results.

Well, neither A or I hit -15 lbs, but we both lost, which is good. In the 2 months, she lost 10.8, and I lost 8.2. Wheeeeeeeee! That's about a pound a week for me, and just over for her. I guess I owe her $10.8 - I'll get on that :P

Should've had some cream puffs

I managed to make 1/2 of my goals for last week. I was only down .6, so that means that while I managed to reach my -20lbs goal (yippee!), I didn't make it to <220lbs. You see why I think I should've had some cream puffs? They seem to be my magical weightloss food. . .

Mr. SB and I were away for the weekend, and stayed with his sister. Yeah, I assume I have no flex left. Smokies and scalloped potatoes and chocolate mousse cake and french toast and a trip to Boston Pizza (where I ordered a quesadilla, but it was too spicy and I worried about the potential issues it would cause SuperBaby, so I traded with my SIL and had to have a salad with breaded chicken, 2 kinds of cheese, hard boiled egg, dressing and pecans) (Wow, that was a run on sentence). Anyway, it was nowhere near a good-eating weekend (well, on the WW front anyway). Hopefully the weather will warm up some this week and SuperBaby and I will get out for a walk with the stroller to work some of this off!

Sabbath: The Day of Rest

Today, no challenge. just rest. that is the challenge.

an update on me.

my life is crazy topsy turvy right now. a board i sit on is going through some tumultous times and it is very tough for me right now. my part time job seems bizarre to say the least and at my real job i am all of a sudden doing the work of 2.2 people. good times. the husbands new job is also seeming quite bizarre and i am worried about all that.

needless to say things are not going well and while i haven't totally fallen off the bandwagon, it sure has taken a detour.

i'm still down about 10 pounds since january 1st so i am concentrating on that success

Day 5 -- Daily Challenge

Today the challenge is to get up and get moving! Walk in place for 2 minutes. Do it while the commercials are on.

GET UP AND DO IT!

Day 4 - Daily Challenge

tell me what inspires you to lose weight and be healthy.

Continuing progress

I can't title my posts by weeks anymore, since I had those few weeks off the wagon. I get confused - should I count it as weeks on the wagon, or weeks since I started? I have no idea, and really, it doesn't matter. It just means I need to come up with more intersting post titles.

I was down another 2.4 this week. I really hate how WW online bitches at me for losing more than 2lbs in one week. It doesn't happen every week. It's not like I'm losing 5lbs a week. An extra .4 in a week isn't really that big of a deal, IMO. When you add in the fact that some weeks I lose under 2lbs, I think that on average, I'm still losing at a healthy rate.

Here's the exciting news! By next week, I should be at (1) 20lbs lost total and (2) under 220 lbs. I really hope to make it this week.

On another note, it's 10 weeks until my parents' anniversary and our family photos. By my calculations, I should be able to be under 200 by then. Wish me luck!

Day 3 - Daily Challenge

i thought about this one for a while...and i hope you enjoy it.

find five weight loss/healthy eating/or the like blogs and leave comments. support our peers on the journey! when reporting back here make sure you include the links so the rest of us can take a look!

Day 2 -- Daily Challenge

today i want you to write 5 things you like about yourself.

that's it. that's all.

Daily Challenge - Day 1

Today, the challenge is simple. All you have to do is point & click.

Check out the Health Canada: Food & Nutrition website.

Check out the Canada Food Guide & see out it has changed since we were young'uns. There's even an interactive tool to create your own Food Guide. Are you following guidelines?

There's also an FAQ about Bottled Water and a closer look at Food Labels.

Point & click now!

a daily challenge?

i was thinking about how it might be neat to have some kind of daily challenge. nothing big. just something keep us focused. something like walk in place for 2 minutes or to remember to drink water or to say i love you to our s/o's...something like that?

are you gals interested? it won't take up more then 5 minutes of your day. i promise.

Under Construction

How do you like the color scheme so far? I'm working on the orange parts - those are images, and I have to switch to the ancient craptop to get those colors changed.

In other news, I was down 2.9 lbs this week, according to the Wii Fit this morning. When I weighed myself last week, it was after work, so that will account for a bit, but still. WOO! I have only 6.4ish lbs to go to hit my goal of 15 lbs in 2 months. Stoked, man. Stoked. I still have a long way to go, but hey. it's something, right?

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

ETA: And uh, didn't there used to be a navbar??? It's showing on the editor as an added feature. Weird.

Week. . . . I'm not even sure anymore

I'm down 1.2 this week! Considering I had a brownie/cheesecake concoction on the weekend, and more cream puffs on Monday, I'm surprised. Hey! It's the cream puffs again! Maybe I need to make these a staple in my diet?

On the good news front, I am now officially at my lowest that I've been since I hopped of the wagon. Woohoo! I told you I was strapping Mr. SB and I to this damn thing!

And lastly, further good news is that my reunion was cancelled because of lack of interest. Perhaps I wasn't the only one worried about what people would say?

Sorry for the short post, but I'm not feeling particularly witty tonight.

Ahhh, that feels better.

Hope y'all like the new look here at POSO. SB & I were chatting and I mentioned changing it, so she found a template, and I went to work and put it in place. Let me know what you think!

I can change the color scheme fairly easily - let me know what you think of these (standard) colors, or if there's a scheme you'd like to see.

Feedback please! We lurve comments!

I'm like a snail...

(In my head, that is to the same tune as "I'm like a bird" by Nelly Furtado. God, I'll turn anything into a song.) Ahem. Like I was saying - I'm like a snail. Slow & Steady. The Wii Fit challenge started July 5 for me, and in the 6 weeks, I have lost approx. 5.5 lbs. Not too bad, especially considering I was working out after work yesterday, and I had a weekend full of delicious food & drink at our friend's cottage. My Wii fit is flaking out a bit during selected episodes of Advanced Step (wah!), but I still heart it. If I spent half the time 'playing' wii fit that I do playing Mario Kart, I'd be thin in no time.

How's everyone else doing? Time for a check in!

As promised, a mini rant.

..and a dilemma I need feedback on waaaaaaaaay at the bottom.

I'm on a quest for a 'nicer' pair of jeans. I've got 2 pairs of jeans currently in rotation - one's missing the buttons off the back-pocket flaps (so I end up with a lumpier-than-usual behind), and the other is just kinda of blah. I picked 'em up in the States earlier this year, and they're comfy, but not "nice going out" kind of jeans, y'know? I had picked up a 2nd pair in the States, which fit all my criteria (did I mention I'm uber picky about jeans?) This pair stretched out of recognition after an evening of wear. Drove me nuts. So, I gave 'em to my coworker. I thought she'd pay me back for them, but ah well. Not quite. ANYWAY.

So I've been checking the fat stores here, and there were a few pairs I liked. Ok, 2. Two whole pairs of jeans that I liked. And you know what the problem is? Same thing that happened with the ones I gave away. The ones that fit perfectly in the store will stretch to all-hell. The size below that? Oh they fit, technically. They're just totally too tight in the butt to wear in public. Theoretically they'd stretch out to an acceptable level within probably a half hour, but I'd also not be able to breathe for that half hour. Not. Cool.

So that's my rant. I hate being an in-between size. It's hard enough to find clothes for fat people, let alone ones who are uh, 'special' like me, and don't fit the pre-determined sizes that are available. Boooo-urns.

Dilemma: Now, the jeans that I like that I couldn't breathe in are currently on clearance for $35 (from A-E! That's almost unheard of!). Do I: A) pick up the ones that are currently too small, and literally work my butt off to get them to fit or B) Keep looking?

(and uh, I'm watching very late-night TV, and I am almost motivated to buy an exercise DVD that's being advertised. I'm losing my mind...)

I'm alive.. a quick update

well, according to my good friend the Wii Fit, I have lost 4.2 lbs in a month, and a portion of a BMI point. That's something, right? Especially when I haven't been as good at getting on the ol' Wii board lately as I should have been. BUT, I have been on the last two days (gotta love vacation - I can exercise before my shower without getting up at an ungodly hour), and am going to try and keep up the momentum.

I have another post that I've been meaning to write for about a week or so, but eh. Never get to it. I'll try and do so later this week... or maybe next :P It's not really time sensitive, more of an ongoing mini-rant.

Hope all's well!!

MIA or AWOL or some other military term

Not sure which I would use to describe my serious lack of WW journalling, exercising, or posting here.

We had Mr. SB's nephew here for 2 weeks, which means I wasn't on plan. For some reason, I have a very difficult time admitting to people that I'm "on a diet". Like if I tell them, they'll all of a sudden realize that I'm fat? Like they were clueless about it before? GAH.

So, I'm dragging Mr. SB and I back onto the wagon, kicking and screaming. I will strap us to this damn thing if I have to. But damn, it's so hard. I think about all the things I could be eating, and about not having to portion out my food, etc. I had been back on the wagon for about 2 weeks before G came, and lost 3 pounds over those 2 weeks. The result of the 2 weeks off was a gain of about 2.2. Not terrible I guess.

What I keep beating myself up over is the fact that my reunion is 3 weeks away, and I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be. It honestly makes me want to cry. I think of everyone judging me, and I don't want to go, even though I spearheaded the whole thing. But I just fear that they won't see anything else I've accomplished in the last 10 years; instead, they'll judge me by what I look like, just like they always did. Mr. SB keeps trying to talk me out of the funk, but it doesn't really work.

However, I have a new timeline goal to work towards. It's my parents' 40th anniversary the first weekend in November, and we're going to get family pictures done. I want to be significantly smaller than I am now, for posterity's sake.

So, there you go. That's what I've been doing (or not, I guess).

HEY!

report in everyone.

i weighed myself this morning. i was 264.4...the same as last week but 9.6 pounds down from january 1st.

can i get a woot woot?

i've been kind of awol from posting but i am here...just dealing with a ton of crap in my life lately. i do read what you guys are writing.

keep on trucking girls!

I need a kick in the pants

Remember how I said I'd be back on plan on Monday for sure? Yeah, that didn't work out. I haven't journalled anything this week. I figure I'm starting over again on Friday, but I need that kick in the pants to make sure I actually do it.

It's only 6 weeks to my reunion. I was at a wedding last weekend, and I hate all the pictures of myself.

Do you have my motivation? I seem to have lost mine.

Ice Cream, a solution of sorts

Wow, I'm just postin all over the place today. This is my 5th post in about 24 hours, over 3 blogs. Not too shabby.

ANYWAY. As I mentioned yesterday, I've been eating a lot of ice cream lately, bc it's been so bloody hot here (38C with the humidex. UGH) and we don't have A/C. I had a brainwave today. Wanna hear it? And no, it's not "don't eat it". Here goes.

Portion Control.

I'll do the same thing with ice cream that I do with cereal. Instead of eating it from a bowl, I'll eat it from a mug. I've been doing this for a few years. I still get the taste, and it's a satisfying amount, but doesn't go overboard. And really. When the mug is full-ish, it still looks like a lot, so my mind says "ok, taht's enough". Kinda like using a smaller plate. Here, I'll demonstrate...

This is the same two-ish scoops of ice cream in a bowl v. mug. Doesn't the mug look a hell of a lot fuller? I am Soooooooooooooo smrt :)

I don't belong anymore...

Not here, but to Curves. I finally went in last night and cancelled my membership. I hadn't gone in a dog's age, I'm sure they weren't surprised.

A couple things pissed me off when I went in though. First - "are you quitting because you're pregnant?" Um, no. (where's the ranty icon???) You may not remember from my intro post, but my husband and I will need to go through IVF to (hopefully) get pregnant. And the woman who asked me this KNOWS about the IVF. So I just said right back "Nope. Haven't gone through IVF yet" in a slightly persnickety tone. But really. COME ON. The second thing that pissed me off is that they'll still take my $45 out on July 21. Apparently 9 working days isn't enough to cancel the transaction. WTF? So now, I'll be paid up til August 20... "just in case [I] change my mind". Uh ya. Thanks but no.

Curves was good to me, and good for me, for many years. But lately, well, pretty much since moving, I just haven't felt the love I felt when I was first a member. Times change. Things that once worked, won't work forever, right? Time to move on, and I have.

Speaking of moving on, I was up early enough this morning to get a body test and 41 minutes of Wii Fit goodness into my system. Included in that 41 minutes was a bunch of yoga, beginner & advanced hula hoop, advanced step class (x2!), and some balance games for cool down. AND.... somewhere around the 35-minute mark, my fit credit bank (yes, you get a piggy bank to keep track of fit credits) turned gold, as I had logged 10 hours of activity in the 17 days since I got it! That's an average of 35 minutes/day! Wiiiiiiiiiii!

Oh, hi there.

Miss me? Sorry I haven't been around much. I've been reading but not so much in a writing kind of mood. In fact, I've just been 'in a mood' for the last month or so. But, I felt I should update y'all, so here goes (even though there's not a whole lot to update).

Things have been all right on this end. Not stellar, as evidenced by the fact that anything I'd lost in May & June has come right the frig back. And I know why. Ice Cream. The devil's food. It's been so super friggin hot here, yarg. Drown me sorrows in a lovely cuppa maple walnut ice cream (never a favorite until this year. odd).

I have been keeping up with the Wii Fit though. I have done at least 20 minutes (sometimes more than an hour!) of activity every day since getting my grubby paws on it, just over two weeks ago. Well, except for yesterday, but hubby & I did go for a walk along the waterfront, so that's at least some exercise. I digress. I love the balance and aerobic activities. Not so much a fan of the yoga or strength, but I"ll get into them, I'm sure. I love love LOVE the step class - I usually do at least 5-7 minutes of class, with some hula hoop thrown in, some boxing and on occassion a run. Plus a shwackof balance games. I definitely feel a burn during the cardio, and think there's been a slight difference in my hips. Wheeeeeeeeeee! I should've measured myself before starting but ah well. I'll know by the clothes.

Anyway. THat's it in a nutshell. Just wanted y'all to know I haven't died or been run over by a host of Miis or anything. Later!

The travelling wagon

I know, I was supposed to be back on the wagon as of Friday. We left Friday morning for a wedding. Travelling + wedding food + lots of hours in the car = not back on the wagon.

Tomorrow. For sure.

I should add though, that I only had a net gain of 2.5 after my week off, week half on the wagon. Not too shabby.

self sabotage

it's happening. i'm seeing success and rapidly plummetting in regards to eating and exercise.

i'm sabotaging myself.

it needs to stop!

monday weigh in

this morning i weighed 267.2....another week down. that's 1.2 pounds!


i didn't have seconds, we didn't get appys at the restaurant, we went for a walk to the park, instead of chips i had an apple. maybe i'm starting to get it?

of course i'm having a bag of chips and dip right now...but everything in moderation, right?

The wagon's revenge

So, Mr. SB and I decided to hop off the wagon for the week we were at the cabin. We anticipated that it would be too hard to count while we were there, plus the fact that the cabin is all about marshmallows and sunflower seeds and ice cream. . .

What we didn't anticipate is that by hopping off the wagon, it would actually catch us under the wheels and run us over. I gained 4.5lbs back; Mr. SB gained back more of that.

We're trying to pull ourselves back up onto the wagon, but it's our anniversary tomorrow, and we're going out for supper. But we'll do an official weigh-in on Friday, and be back on that damn wagon, come hell or high water.

Wii Fit challenge!

I wasn't the only one at my office to pick up Wii Fit this weekend, so did A (only other female). We've been comparing notes about how far we've gotten, tips, etc. A and I are both similarly shaped, weigh probably quite close to the same, etc. What we've decided to do is starting July 1, we're gonna have a friendly challenge. The challenge is to lose 15 lbs - first one there is 'awarded' a $15 gift cert by the other (establishment to be determined). The challenge is to run over the summer - July 1 - Sept 1. If neither of us loses 15 lbs by Sept 1, whoever loses more will win.

I think this will really help me out, because I find it very helpful to have someone doing the same thing as I am to be accountable to. Like when SB and I had our weekly points challenge. That kicked ass.

As for the Wii Fit, I banked 45 minutes or so today, and about the same yesterday. Almost 2/3 of that was cardio - step courses (2x3 min, 1x5 min, 1x10 min free step), short run (!!!), and 2 rounds of hula hoopin'. Started off with some yoga and strength training, ended up with some balance exercises. And my god, I'm a sweaty mess by the time I'm done, so it's definitely doing SOMETHING.

weigh in report

this morning i was 268.4--so down .6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know it's not much but i am really embracing the SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE adage.

i'm making healthy choices and learning how to live this great new lifestyle instead of simply counting points and dieting.

go carrie go!

Wiiiiiii (fit)

So, Saturday morning, I was one of those crazies lined up outside of Toys R Us to get my grubby paws on a Wii Fit system. I was able to score a system, and I took it home and set it up pronto. It's so much effing fun! wiiiiiiiiii! I set a goal of 15 lbs over the next two months, just to work into things. Hopefully this will get me off my fat arse and kick start things. It's a lot of fun - I've tried the balance and aerobics so far. I'm kinda sucky at the slalom skiing especially, but am picking up the others. I've even gone for jogs the last two days! Just 3ish minutes, but still. I can definitely feel it in my legs, so that's something, right? I don't let myself get off until at least 20 minutes of time has been banked for the day, and man, after 20 minutes yesterday, I was a sweaty mess. Hopefully I can keep up the trend, and watch that BMI come down, down, down. The thing groans when I step on the board - not cool, but understandable.

In other news, I didn't post on Thursday about my weigh-in, bc fork, I was up again. Still lower than May 5 when I started (a whole .6 lbs... ooooh :P), but all the throat-soothing ice cream had caught up to me (ya, I'm still kinda sick, and was still right phlegmy & gross on Thursday). But as of this morning, I was back down to -3 from May 5, so it's something. Hopefully the Wii fit will help me finally break that damn barrier. If I could get to -7, I'd be happy - new 'decade'.

My goal for the week is to spend at least 20 minutes/day on the Wii Fit, if not longer. I'm sure I can fit in some time between games of Scrabulous :P Your goal??

last week i worked on eating a healthy breakfast and lunch. for the most part i succeeded.

what did you do last week?

Weigh In

This morning I weighed 269 pounds. that down 5 pounds since January 1st. slow and steady wins the race, right?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how i not only equate food to love but in my weird and screwed up world, food = a good time. i cannot fathom what it would be like to spend time with friends and family without food. there has got to be a pizza at the end of the road. appetizers are breaking the ice. the main is the feature presentation where life is dissected piece by piece. dessert is slowly saying goodbye.

love and laughter come with a side of fries and break ups and heartache are liver and onions.

how did i get to be so weird?

Week 8 - creampuffs and mini cheesecakes

So, I had a yearend meeting on Tuesday, which included supper. Supper was pizza, ceasar salad, dry ribs, lasagna, mini cheesecakes, creampuffs, and fruit pizza. Eek, hey? I started off good - 2 slices of pizza, and a little bit of salad.

And then the creampuffs snuck up on me. I had like, 6 of those? And 2 chocolate covered mini cheesecakes. And 2 pieces of fruit pizza (at least it had fruit, right?). And a Bailey's caramel with milk.

Eeeks.

And I didn't really get out for exercise this week. Definitely not as much as last week! I was all prepared for a minimal loss, at best.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered a 2.6 loss this morning! Is the secret to consume creampuffs and mini cheesecakes each week? (Kidding, kidding). Actually, I think it's because we did the fruit and veggie challenge for HBL again this week. I'm noticing a trend that when I increase my fruit and veggies, I lose more (who'da thunk it, hey?). I really need to keep that up.

yay

I weighed-in this morning, not expecting to see much of a loss (if any, really) because I had company all week, but I was greatly surprised. I'm down a total of 4.8 lbs now since May 5. If I could break that 5 lb mark, I'd be quite happy. The loss may be attributed to some combination of not being in prime PMS condition, the great haircut yesterday, or the shedding of dead skin from my feet pedicure I had on Tuesday, but let's pretend it's not.

I am feeling like complete crap right now - fighting a case of bronchitis. My diet for the day has been mainly orange juice, water & tea. I went to work this morning, and was home by 1pm to sleep. Hopefully I'll be feeling better soon, but if not, I might have another loss next week. Wheeee!

After my post last week, I also feel like I should defend me/J or something. It's not like I've never thought "hey, it might be easier if he were along with me on this". I have spoken to him about weight loss, and needing to be there & be supportive. He feels bad reminding me to make the better choices, and it's still hard when he's sitting there having three bowls of cereal for dinner. He can honestly eat whatever and not gain much. He can also watch what he's eating for a week and lose 10 lbs. Neither of these make it easy. ANYWAY. 'nuff of that. It'll happen when it happens. For all of us.

i went to a wedding last night. there are pictures of it today on facebook and sadly i'm in some of them. i try so hard to avoid pictures or to make sure i am well posed (ie. to the side or something in front of my chin or just a chin up shot) but it didn't happen last night as people were snapping photos in every direction.

i look awful in them. i'm a big ol' shapeless blob. my arms are huge and shapeless. my chins are everywhere. i'm twice as big as everybody else.

it is really horrifying to see your candid self. i totally understand the, 'she would look really pretty if she just lost some weight' saying.

i just want this to be the big motivation i need to really get rolling on losing weight and not just satisfied with maintaining.

Story of my life...

Have a great weekend!

Week 7 results

I don't get it. I really don't.

I was down a whopping 0.8lbs. What I don't get, however, is that I earned 21 activity points this week, and I'm still only down 0.8? Seriously? How is that possible?

I did falter a bit last Friday and used up the majority of my flex points on a stop at McDonalds, but I've behaved every day since then. Paired with my activity, I expected to lose at least a full pound.

I'm starting to wonder if breastfeeding is the root cause. Perhaps my body is stubbornly holding on to all this fat just in case?

I mean, I've lost 11.2lbs in 7 weeks, which is an average of like, 1.5lbs I guess. But it's so frustrating at the beginning, before it looks like an impressive number like 20lbs or something like that.

Me = yo-yo

So, I was up 1.8 lbs at this morning's weigh in. Still down 2.4 from the beginning of May, but blargh. I keep losing & gaining the same 4 lbs. I suck.

I was away all weekend, on a shopping trip with a friend and her mom. While I was able to find summer pants (and only one top, which I'm sure someone will figure is a maternity top. great...), I was still somewhat depressed by the experience. I wrote this in my other (protected) blog...

"I should be happy with the purchases I did make, but I still find shopping a downer. Usually I can't find anything that fits. If/when I do find things, I don't like the number on the tag. So, what do I do about that? Well, I don't get out and do things so that the weight will come off, and the smaller clothes will fit me (again, let's face it, I'm a yo-yo), I eat because I'm down. UGH. Such an emotional eater. Not really sure how to overcome that, but I really need to. And like soon."

Apparently US sizing is effed up, and that explains some, but seriously. The numbers/sizing on this side of the border aren't any better. It's got to end, but I don't know how/what will finally make me break the cycle.

Stalemate

I don't know what went wrong this week. I broke even, I guess you could say - no loss, no gain. Exact same weight as last week. It's weird though, because I exercised 6 days this week! How could I not have lost? We're talking 4 days of hour long stroller walks here!

On a side note, the date for my reunion has been set: August 23. This means I have 12 weeks to lose as much weight as I can. I figure I could lose about 25-30lbs by then, on top of the 10 I've already lost. . . sound reasonable? Any tips on things I can do to avoid 0-movement weeks like this week to make it actually happen?

Net loss!

Ok, so overall, as of my WI today, I'm down 4.2 lbs from May 5. Das is goot, right?

I'm heading to the US with a friend and her mom today, and I don't expect to be eating totally well this weekend (hello Olive Garden!), so I'm prepared to see a gain when I get home. Although, we'll be shopping-til-we're-dropping, so hopefully I'll walk off some of the stuff we eat.

HOpe everyone else has a great weekend!

Ugh.

I was up again today, but that's because of some craptastic eating on the weekend (as usual). I'm not quite sure how much I was up today, because my successive weigh-ins (I always do a couple, just to make sure) were different by about .5 so, I"m up. I also don't remember what I started at on May 5 (should've written that down, I guess), but I"m probably close to where I was that day. UGH UGH UGH. (dinah - do you have that number somewhere? I thought I PM'd it to you on H!... if so, send it back to me, pls??)

Anyway, I think I"m going to change my WI day to Thursdays - that's generally the day I do best with weigh ins, so might as well work WITH me, then against myself, right? (sorry for the crappy syntax there, hah).

But like last week, I'm not going to beat myself up over the gain. Today's highlights include:
-stocking up on WW lunches at Superstore - $1.99 ea ($1 off)
-bought a fruit tray to snack on at work the next few days
-drank much water/decaf tea
-went for a 2k walk after work. It only took 25 minutes, and I felt great after. I haven't been to Curves lately, but I'm glad I pushed myself to go for the walk.

So that's where I"m at. Over and out!

What a rip off!

So, I was in the grocery store yesterday, and I saw that they had cherries (my favorite). Huzzah, I thought to myself, fruit that I love and that's good for me!

Today, I measure out 10 oz of cherries for myself (which isn't really that much), and guess how many points? 3.5. Yup. So much for fruit being a low points option.

Weigh-In Monday and Thoughts for the Up-Coming Week

I was 269.8 this morning. I know this doesn't sound like much, but since January 1st I have lost 4.2 pounds. Some things I've done differently to make this happen? I've started eating breakfast on a regular basis (I either have oatmeal with yogurt or cottage cheese, yogurt, and a fruit mixed together--tres yummy!) and I have been attempting the cook-less-at-supper bit (cause Steve doesn't eat much and then I end up eating his bit too).

My thoughts for this week? Keep going small. Baby Steps. Baby Steps.

1. I am going to drink 8 glasses of water a day.
2. I am going to walk home from work 1 day this week (I think this is about a 1 hour walk--not sustainable all the time, but good for when the ILs are here).
3. Not Kill my ILs and be the nicest, most understanding, most kindest, most patient daughter-in-law EVER.

Those seem achiveable?

What's on your plate for this week?

i'm here...sort of

i'm still here. trudging along. trying to make good choices. remembering it's all about baby steps.

it's been a stressful last couple weeks and the stress-o-meter doesn't look any better for the next 3 weeks. The ILs arrive tomorrow for their extended yearly holiday. i might have to resort to quite a few drinks to make it through. :P

Week 5 - Things are looking up

A nice, solid 1.6lb loss this week! I think the big problem last week was that I didn't get out to exercise as much as I have been - after a nasty bout of blisters, I figured that my feet changed during pregnancy. I invested in a proper pair of shoes yesterday, and got out with SuperBaby and some friends for a long stroller workout. This should really help, this exercising thing, I figure.

On a somewhat related note, it looks like my reunion has been pushed back to August, which gives me even more time to drop some pounds!

Yummy, low-ish fat dessert

I think this is low in points too (as long as you don't eat half a tray...)

Base:
1 cup of graham cracker crumbs
2 tblespoons of melted margarine
2 tablespoons of brown sugar substitute

Mix up and put into 9*13 inch pan.Bake at 350 degrees for 5 minutes.
Cool completely

Middle layer:
1 weight watchers instant vanilla pudding (or fat free)
500 grams of plain yogurt
1 - 19 ounce can of drained crushed pineapple

Combine ingredients and put over crumb bottom. Put into fridge to sit.

Top with dream whip or weight watchers topping.

Yummmmay. Enjoy!

Hmm.

I think my weight was a bit inflated yesterday when I weighed in, as today I was only up .2 lbs from last Monday. I made sure to drink a bunch of water yesterday (I peed like a million times, ugh), which definitely helped. I guess this just reinforces the importance of water in trying to lose weight, and just in getting healthier. I'm heading out at lunch to run some errands - I think I'll pick up a flat of water to keep in the basement so I can't 'forget' to drink water when I'm down there.

On another note, I spent close to 2 hours weeding yesterday. I didn't really work up a sweat, but does this count as 'light exercise'? My gardens look muuuuuch better now, and I now know where I need to plant more 'stuff'.

i was up too

i was 271.2 this morning...so up like a bunch of pounds from the last time i weighed in...but still under my January 1st weight.

i'm getting really good at maintaining. :P

Week 2..

I'd say "of the Chelle plan" but I really didn't stick to the Chelle plan, and it showed. + 1.2 lbs. UGH UGH UGH. Things I know I did wrong:
-not enough water.
-we ate out a lot, so too much refined crap

Hopefully this week will be better.

I'm not berating myself over the gain, it's not worth it. Life goes on..

Week 4: Defeat

I lost a whopping .4lbs this week. Whoop de doo. Someone tell me why I shouldn't head straight to Dairy Queen for one of those Fudge Brownie sundae things they keep advertising.

Chelle Plan - week 1 results

Down 3.6lbs!!! Wheee!

Now, most of that is attributable (is this a word?) to the fact that last weekend I completely gorged myself and was PMSing, but meh. Take the loss, right? I had an ok weekend. Started off with Refined Carb Friday (see last post), and then just kind of forgot to eat. Well, I ate, just not really well. And not a lot of water, which always happens to me on weekends. Yesterday was also a really emotional day for me, with both high-high-HIGHS and low-low-LOWS, so the less-than-stellar eating isn't surprising. I did however only choose a timbit instead of a cookie or fritter at Tim's (near the lowest of the low), so I think that is a good thing.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend :)

Refined Carb Friday.

Well, I've been pretty good all week. Close to no refined carbs, fruits & veggies every day, good protein intake, and no Diet Coke. Until today. English muffin at brekkie, delish Greek pita and garlic bread at lunch (but seriously, best Greek food EVAH), and pasta at dinner. And diet Pepsi at dinner to boot. I did get all my water in though, but I've gone on carb overload. Oh, and ice cream for dessert. Ugh. Don't worry, this all came back to kick me in the ass. Yarg.

On another note, I've been at Curves 2x so far this week, and plan to go tomorrow morning to get the recommended 3rd visit of the week. I weighed in this morning, and it was pretty good, but I have DGT to thank. Still two days to go until I say officially how I"ve done, hopefully the weekend won't be a write-off. We're going to a hockey game on Sunday, I'll hopefully only share popcorn with J, but we'll see.

Week 3 = Woohoo; and a lesson in motivation

This morning's WI showed a loss of 2.6lbs! :oD I guess all those walks with the stroller DID make a difference! Mr. SB and I are tracking our weight loss percentages too - I've already lost 5% of my starting body weight!

Now, on to the motivation front. This year is my 10 year high school reunion, which will be held sometime this summer. This is a big deal to me. I really wish it were next year, so I could lose ALL of the weight that I want to, but I guess that I still have time to lose about 20lbs, right?

You see, I was teased about my weight all through school. Really, grade 12 was about the only time I wasn't, but I thought maybe it was because people had finally matured enough to see past such things. I had lost about 30lbs in grade 9, and when I look back at my high school pictures, I wish I would've felt better about myself. But even though I had lost weight, and was actually relatively thin in high school, they still called me the same old names. It's like they couldn't actually see me. I distintly remember one little troll guy oinking at me in the hall. I resolved in Grade 12, that if he did it again, I was going to slam the fucker into a locker (sorry for the language - I have unresolved rage issues about high school). Lucky for him, he left me alone that year.

But as you can see, this talk of a reunion brings back all of my old insecurities, and I really wish I could lose about 100lbs in 6 weeks.

A CHALLENGE?

a challenge for us? something to think about?

why are we doing this? i know we've talked in generalities and said vague things like 'we want to be good role models for our kids' or 'we want to feel healthier', but what is the total meaning of this?

but really, what does all that mean? it's so abstract. how do we take it into the concrete. into reality. what is the plan? how will get from point A to point B.

kwim? take a few minutes...heck take a few days to really think about why we are doing this.

i hope i'm not sounding muddled in my post.

Two days down..

So, I'm two days into the Chelle plan. So far...
- I chose to order a single chocolate timbit (70cal) to have with my tea yesterday morning instead of the usual blueberry fritter (320ish cal)
-I have really tried to limit my refined carb intake (other than above-mentioned timbit)
-breakfast for both days has been one slice of 100% ww toast w/ a cheese slice & back bacon, not a jumbo double chocolate muffin
-NO diet coke. At all. Since mmm, Saturday perhaps? Still hard to get going in the morning, but hopefully that will get easier
-trying not to overeat. Not snacking at night is hard, but I try and keep busy in the Cave or just have yogurt instead
-picked up some WW lunch entrees at Superstore today for this week's work lunches. $1.99 each, and about 6 points, if you're following WW. Also picked up 1% cottage cheese cups and some bananas to keep at the office so I don't hit David's stash o' chocolate bars, or the deli downstairs for something worse.
-must move stash o' candy for the office. It is no longer safe in the drawer to my right :P

But, probably most importantly,
-I set foot in Curves after work today. I was dreading it for whatever reason (possibly not being there for so long?), but I felt good after. And I even walked most of the way home too. I was probably about 2 km of the 2.4 km when J drove by on his way home (he'd been out running errands while I was at Curves) and picked me up. Doesn't it figure that he stopped to pick me up about 5 minutes AFTER I crested the big hill on the way home? pfffft.

So that's where we're at with day 2. I was down .6 today, but I think it's just my wonky scale. We'll see where things are at the end of the week.
**********************

As a kind of related topic, check out Holly's post at Nothing But Bonfires (Peaks & Valleys) the first part is about going to the gym, and it really hit home. Esp. with going back to Curves after (another) few-month-long hiatus.

i was down!

i weighed myself yesterday and I was down! not much...but still down. it's a nice feeling. i've been making a big effor to eat more fruits and vegetables. & to simply make less food for breakfast, lunch, and supper. so far so good.

Tomorrow's the day...

I start the Chelle Plan tomorrow. More water, fewer caffeinated beverages, more fruits & veggies, less refined crap. And like (mostly) anyone starting a diet-ish-plan, I have eaten nothing but pure carp this weekend. I'll WANT to eat well tomorrow, bc I haven't eaten well this weekend. Well, I had a greek salad for lunch, so that's something.

I also need to add some element of exercise to the Chelle Plan, and I"m a bit conflicted. I am a member of Curves, and should really put in the effort to get there 3x/week. Thing is, if I go right after work, I don't eat dinner til almost 8 pm, and I hate having to do that. I don't get home til 6ish, and after changing and working out, it's close to 7 when I walk back in the door. I still have to eat, and with J. and I not always eating the same thing, I usually still have to cook dinner. I eat right away, and then go after dinner, but I don't want to work out on a full tummy, bc I have enough tummy issues as is, and you have to be there by 7:15ish to get a full workout in before they close at 8. Gah. There's a Curves somewhat close to my office, but it's just far enough away that my entire one-hour lunch is taken up, and I have no time to eat.

I hate going for walks just to 'go for a walk', but there are a ton of trails up by our house, so I might just have to load up the ol' iPod, and start walkin. yarg.

Week 2 - AKA the week of the girl guide cookies

It's impossible to turn away sweet-faced little girls selling deliciousness door to door.

That is this week's lesson.

Today's WI left me at 1.6lbs down. Not bad, I guess, but could've been better. I do have to say that even though I bought a box of cookies, I have so far managed not to sit down with them and eat them all in one sitting. Difficult. I have, however, had a maximum of 2 per day (one of each flavour), which is 3 points. I have also logged said points. Mr. SB suggested that we have a "freebie" when we bought them, but I still managed to journal them!

I'm not quite sure where else I would've gone wrong this week, but I'm hoping next week will be better. Or perhaps I should just be thankful for the 1.6?

Can we have a check in?

how is everyone doing? (or not doing?)

i don't want to be the downer...

but as you all probably know...my husband lost his job yesterday. my feelings are all over the place right now...and food is the last thing i want to be thinking of right now.

in the past, i would have let this derail me and take me off track and i would continue to gain weight. now, i'm hoping that with your guys' support i'll be able to stay on the bandwagon and maybe only falter a little bit.

so, what i need now is GOOD, CHEAP, HEALTHY meals I can cook. we're going to go and do a large grocery shop in the next day or two before we officially have no money and i'd like to get stuff that i can make and freeze and have later and still be on some kind of plan.

sorry for being the downer.

random thoughts..

• I promised SB I'd start back 'on plan' on May 1 (after tax season). I think I'll round that up to Monday, and have my WI day the same as dinah's. This may help me NOT overindulge on weekends. May.


• Must wean myself off my recently re-developed caffeine addiction. Back to CF and herbal tea for this girl, and water with meals


• water. Must drink more water. I don't know how I can 'forget', but I sure seem to. I might invest in a water cooler for the basement, so I don't dehydrate in the evenings (as is currently the case).


• I've started eating more veggies again. A bag of baby carrots yesterday, a container of grape tomatoes on Sunday. See a pattern? They might as well be pringles - bet I can't eat just one :P
  


• After tonight, the birthday cake and croissants will be finished off (ok, I finished off the croissants this morning), and I'm not making/buying more.
  


• No more muffins (and Diet Coke... see point #2) for breakfast. Tea, and a ww english muffin or slice of toast w/ pb instead.
  


• I mentioned a plan way up at the top of this list. Which plan? Not sure. The Chelle plan for now. More water, veggies & fruit. Less crap, especially of the refined carb variety.

Dealing with the hunger

I could've sworn that protein is supposed to fill you up, but that's just not true for me. I just ate a meal of 4 eggs, 3 oz of ham, and some tomato. That's a lot of protein, right? But afterwards, still hungry. I find that I need carbs to fill up.

Now, I love carbs. I've always loved carbs. Mr. SB has had occasion to come home and ask what I ate that day, and when I tell him, the whole day is comprised of carbs. White bread is especially tasty, and bagels, and pasta, and potatoes. . . . However, all of these things are not exactly points-friendly.

So besides maintaining willpower, what should I be doing to fill myself up at meals more, without resorting to as many carbs?

Week 1 is almost here for me

I promised SB that I would be on plan this Monday. Monday's always seem like a good day to start a new way of living, don't they?

I had planned to find all my ww stuff and review it and get organized and shop accordingly. hah. Now, it's Saturday morning and I don't know where the ww stuff is, i haven't reviewed anything, and I haven't gone shopping. But, I still have 2 days to get my ass in gear and DO SOMETHING about it.

So, what do I need to know to get prepared?

Don't let me fall off the wagon before I even get on it.

Week 1 = done!

I finished my first week back on WW last week. At this morning's weigh in (WI from now on), I was down 4.2lbs. Woo, right?

I dunno. It's so hard at the beginning. I know it's unhealthy to have huge losses, but it's so hard to see a small loss when you're first starting and wanting your motivation. I know that if I had 6 weeks of this kind of loss, I'd be at 10% of my weight lost, which would be fabulous, right? I guess it all relates back to patience (or my lack thereof).

Aside from the scale, I think I did good this week. I drank water, ate dairy and vegetables. I had an amusing incident where I was in Shoppers and saw Jelly Bellies (my favourite). I had them in my hand, and was trying to find a treat for Mr. SB, when I remembered that I'm on WW. Totally forgot for a minute!

I did end up getting the Jelly Bellies the next day, but I've been religiously counting out 35 piece servings (3 points) and putting the rest away. It was a small bag, so they're gone now. I do much better without temptation in the house.

Exercise has been non-existent this week. It's been craptastically cold here this week, so it's been a bit hard for Superbaby and I to get out of the house. Thankfully, it's supposed to be nice again next week, so Superbaby and I will break out the stroller and get some walking done!

Speakinf of Superbaby and exercise, I think I should get activity points for wearing her while I do my housework. That's an extra 11lbs I'm carrying around for strength building!

And finally, introducing Chelle

Name: Chelle
Age: 32
Starting Weight: not willing to say, but it's closer to 300 than it needs to be.
Size: 22-24
Weightloss Goal: According to my old doctor, I should strive for a weight of 158 lbs, so 125ish lbs. Ideally I'd get below 200, but honestly? I'd be really quite happy with 30 lbs for starters. That's over 10%.
Weightloss Plan: No plan yet. Working on it. Stop stuffing my face is probably the first step. yarg.
Weightloss Strengths: uh. I like to eat. Oh wait. Maybe that's not such a good thing... Umm, I really do like veggies.
Weightloss Weaknesses: I'm a complete mix of the other two. I'm an emotional, unconscious eater. I love to eat out, love cheese, salt & all other things bad for me. I eat til my plate (or the bag...) is empty, not until I'm full. I "know better" but seem to have a mental block putting it all into practice.
Inspirations: My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few years now, and our next step is IVF. Spending $10,000 to attempt to get pregnant at this weight isn't worth it, because the procedure would most likely fail. I need to be at a healthier place before we attempt IVF, hopefully this will help me out.
General about me: My husband and I met online about 12 years ago - you know, before it was cool :P We live in Halifax, where he works for the feds, and I aspire to work for the feds. In the meantime, I'm the "girl Friday" at a small accounting firm. I also love being crafty, baking, spending time with friends and martinis. Loooove my martinis.

Introducing Dinah

Name: dinah
Age: 29...soon to be thirty. **eeks**
Starting Weight: This morning I weighed 272.6 pounds. That is a scary number
Size: Who knows? 18-22? ish. All I do know for sure is that everytime i go clothes shopping I end up having to get clothes in bigger sizes.
Weightloss Goal: In the happy perfect world I need to lose over 100 pounds. Realistically? Right now I'd be ecstatic if I lost 50 pounds.
Weightloss Plan: I'm going to try a modified WW. I get 32 points a day on WW but that really seems like to little...so I'm going to aim for 35 points a day and 35 flex points a week.
Weightloss Strengths: My Strengths? It's sad but I can't think of any strengths? i know a lot about food and plans and healthy eating. I just have problems putting it in practice.
Weightloss Weaknesses: My weakeness? Eating until I feel sick. Eating when I'm not hungry. Salt is my downfall. I love chips too much. I equate food with love. I like to eat out too much. I love cheese way too much. I don't know how to stop when I'm full.
Inspirations: I really want to be a good role model for my son, Andrew. I want him to see a healthy, strong, beautiful mom...not how I am now.
General about me: My husband and I have been together for about 4 years now. we have an almost 3 year old son. & we live in Winnipeg. I work for the Federal Gov't at a desk job. I love food. I love to eat. I craft. I crochet. I'm an open book.

Introducing SB

Name: SB
Age: 28
Starting Weight: 240
Size: 20ish
Weightloss Goal: I want to lose about 100lbs.
Weightloss Plan: Weight Watchers Flex Plan
Weightloss Strengths: I am good at counting and sticking to that. If I remember to journal everything, especially right when I eat it, I stick to the plan quite well. Also, being at home all day makes it easier to resist temptation, as long as I don't have the stuff in the house. Thankfully, Mr. SB is also doing the same plan, so we're on the same page.
Weightloss Weaknesses: I am an unconscious, emotional eater. I eat for comfort, I eat to celebrate, I eat when I'm bored. I hope that counting everything will make me actually think about what I'm eating. I'm also fairly lazy, and have a hard time getting off my (sizeable) ass to exercise.
Inspirations: I want to learn healthy eating habits in order to pass them on to my daughter, SuperBaby. I want to be healthier for her so I can be in her life longer. I never want her to be teased, like I was, about her weight. I want to redefine my relationship with food. I need to find new ways to reward/comfort/entertain myself!
General about me: I'm a lawyer in a small town, currently on mat leave. SuperBaby is just about 3 months old. While one would think that this is baby weight I'm trying to lose, I can assure you it's not. That, I lost within 3 weeks, and then I've been gaining weight since then. I thought you were supposed to lose weight when breastfeeding?

My Food Story

I feel like I have always been overweight. But looking back at pictures from when I was 10-12 years old I realize that I wasn't overweight, I was just normal. In fact, in high school I wasn't really overweight either. It wasn't until I left high school that I started to gain weight. I got a job, I went to school, I lived at home, I had nothing to spend my money on so I ate. I ate out, I ate fast-food (heck, I worked in fast-food), I ate at restaurants, I ate delivery, I ate subs, burgers, nachos, you name it I ate at it and I ate it.

Eating became my 'thing'. It soothed me when relationships ended, it calmed me when I had a test to study for, it made me happy to eat out with friends, it gave me something to do when I was bored, it it was a game to see how much 'free' food I could snatch while working, and it was what you did when you were with family & friends.

Food had always had a special place in my life. My father is a great cook and we used make things together all the time and I always enjoyed the things he made. My family is Ukranian and Polish, so food is always abundant. In fact, it is love. You ate grandma's food to show you loved her and if you didn't, well--then that obviously meant you were mad at her. Friday nights were also wonderful in my food memory. We always went out for supper on Fridays. I remember spending all of Fridays in antipation of eating out. I loved spending time with my parents that way--talking and laughing and eating.

I've tried my share of 'diets'. I can't do them. I suck. End of story.

While I was pregnant with Andrew that was probably when I ate the healthiest. 3 squares, fruits, vegetables, cottage cheese, yogurt, and salads. I couldn't eat anything cooked so ate fresh, raw, wonderful salads. I (mostly) avoided the fast food and bad for you food. I gained quite a bit of weight (like 40 pounds) but Andrew was slightly under 10 lbs, I was incredibly swollen and was at my pre-pregnancy weight within 3 weeks of giving birth. I was so happy! Then slowly the weight started to creep back on...and yet I wasn't pregnant. Now I weigh just as much as I did 9 months pregnant. It makes me sad to think this.

So this brings us where we are today. Fat. Morbidly Obese I believe is the correct term. I want to make a difference. I need to make a difference in my life. I don't want Andrew to remember me like this or learn my horrible habits and end up like me.

I am armed with the knowledge of how to eat right. I can do the exercise. I can make good choices. I have the means to lose weight. I know what needs to be done. I just need to do it. I must invite DISCIPLINE into my house as a permanent resident.

Tell me your story. :)