My Food Story

I feel like I have always been overweight. But looking back at pictures from when I was 10-12 years old I realize that I wasn't overweight, I was just normal. In fact, in high school I wasn't really overweight either. It wasn't until I left high school that I started to gain weight. I got a job, I went to school, I lived at home, I had nothing to spend my money on so I ate. I ate out, I ate fast-food (heck, I worked in fast-food), I ate at restaurants, I ate delivery, I ate subs, burgers, nachos, you name it I ate at it and I ate it.

Eating became my 'thing'. It soothed me when relationships ended, it calmed me when I had a test to study for, it made me happy to eat out with friends, it gave me something to do when I was bored, it it was a game to see how much 'free' food I could snatch while working, and it was what you did when you were with family & friends.

Food had always had a special place in my life. My father is a great cook and we used make things together all the time and I always enjoyed the things he made. My family is Ukranian and Polish, so food is always abundant. In fact, it is love. You ate grandma's food to show you loved her and if you didn't, well--then that obviously meant you were mad at her. Friday nights were also wonderful in my food memory. We always went out for supper on Fridays. I remember spending all of Fridays in antipation of eating out. I loved spending time with my parents that way--talking and laughing and eating.

I've tried my share of 'diets'. I can't do them. I suck. End of story.

While I was pregnant with Andrew that was probably when I ate the healthiest. 3 squares, fruits, vegetables, cottage cheese, yogurt, and salads. I couldn't eat anything cooked so ate fresh, raw, wonderful salads. I (mostly) avoided the fast food and bad for you food. I gained quite a bit of weight (like 40 pounds) but Andrew was slightly under 10 lbs, I was incredibly swollen and was at my pre-pregnancy weight within 3 weeks of giving birth. I was so happy! Then slowly the weight started to creep back on...and yet I wasn't pregnant. Now I weigh just as much as I did 9 months pregnant. It makes me sad to think this.

So this brings us where we are today. Fat. Morbidly Obese I believe is the correct term. I want to make a difference. I need to make a difference in my life. I don't want Andrew to remember me like this or learn my horrible habits and end up like me.

I am armed with the knowledge of how to eat right. I can do the exercise. I can make good choices. I have the means to lose weight. I know what needs to be done. I just need to do it. I must invite DISCIPLINE into my house as a permanent resident.

Tell me your story. :)