medical "professionals"...

...Inspired by Fat Heffalump's letter to medical professionals Go take a minute to read her letter. I'll wait here...

Ok. Awesome, no?

I actually commented, as it really rang true to a lot of what I have experienced..  This was my comment:

While not diabetic, I have struggled with many of the same issues you have, especially medical "professionals" who can't fathom that I'm happy at 300-ish lbs, and imply that it's my weight & (assumed) craptastic diet causing my depression, gall bladder attacks, probs getting pg, etc not the actual issues at hand. 

 And it's true. Want proof?

• I had a nurse who was supposed to be helping me with PPD back in the spring imply that my depression was caused by my size, while I see it as I'm fat because I'm depressed - totally different, IMO... 
• At the end of May I had my first real gall bladder attack. We went to the ER, and while taking my history, the nurse noted that I just had a baby. "oh, then it's probably gall stones. It's very common after you have a baby". When the doctor finally saw me, he blew that off, and said "you had pizza for dinner, then pizza & coffee for breakfast. you're not young anymore... its' just indigestion". and after many months, a few more attacks & an abdominal ultrasound, guess what? "Multiple mobile (gall)stones - RX gall bladder removal". Thanks arse. If you would've seen PAST my 300-lb arse, I might have had the u/s in the summer & surgery be over by now, instead of it (most likely) conflicting with work.
• As for the problems getting pregnant, well, there was the comment made to me by the RE during our Embryo Transfer, and the lovely "I can't believe *YOU* aren't the reason you two can't get pregnant..." by a different RE early in the game. well that's supportive, no? :P OY. 

 I'm glad my GPs in the last 10yrs have been ok with my weight (as long as BP was controlled, etc), and that the nutritionist I'm seeing isn't making me journal every bite I eat, or count calories, etc. So ya, maybe some medical professionals DO get that some people who are fat are OK - OK with being fat, and just OK in general.

Just do it...

You've probably heard that before somewhere... but sometimes it's just what you've got to do. Suck it up & just do "it", whatever your "it" is.

For me, I am a hill-o-phobe. I hate walking uphill.  If I'm walking somewhere, I will plan my route so I walk the least amount of uphill, and the majority either downhill or flat. (I believe this comes from years of living in Winnipeg, where the only "hills" there were to climb were overpasses... ) But I've been getting a bit bored with the 4km loop I've been doing lately (mostly flat with two hills), so I decided to switch it up. Instead of turning at my usual spot, I kept going... UP a hill. it was slow going, I mean, not only was I dragging my ass up the hill, but pushing a stroller too, but I got up there. I got to the end of the road, and then decided to "just see what was over that hill..." to my right, and there I went - up another one! Once I got there, it was fairly flat, and I knew that I was close to the highest point in my neighborhood (for reals), so I made my way back to the main street and started back home. By meandering a bit through the residential part of the area, I avoided walking straight up the damn big hill I'm usually scared to attempt (because I know I wouldn't make it) and got to walk down it instead :P All in all, I ended up walking a hair over 5k today, in just over an hour. I'm  actually pretty proud of myself for doing this walk - not only was it a beautiful day, but I felt fabulous after.

I haven't been running much on my walks lately, as we've been walking with an older neighbor in the mornings. It's nice having someone to talk to - makes teh time fly & the hills less painful (seriously). Our routine was off today, so it was just me & the babe walking this afternoon, so I ran a bit when I felt up to it. I'd love to try Couch to 5k, but sad truth, I can't run for a minute yet, let alone many of them. I'll get there though. Slow & steady wins the race...

OH - and I'm doing the walk again tomorrow with a friend :D

Interview with a Tweep!

Words of Inspiration - interview with Dreena Guptill

Dreena is one of my tweeps from Edmonton... in the last year & a half, she has lost over 110 lbs hula hooping! This interview is about her journey to lose weight - what inspired/s her, where she came from & where she's at. A lot of what she says rings true to me... I'd love to start hooping, but classes in these parts are few & far between. I guess I could "pull a Dreena" and just get a hoop & start at it in the backyard...

Run Forrest Run!

So, a funny thing happened on thursday when babe & i were out for our walk... i got it in my head that i was going to run a bit, so i did! about a whole 100m, but still. it's a start. and y'know, it felt pretty good!

So then, during Friday's walk, I ran a bit more (4 stints, abt 340m in total - walk was almost 4km).

We went to j's parents yesterday, so i didn't go for a walk, but tonight after we got home & unpacked & babe was sleeping & my blog post for tomorrow's blog hop was done, i had this little niggling to go for a "wrun" (a walk that includes little runs interspersed. yes, it's a chelle-ism :)) so i did! i'm not sure how much of my approx 2k wrun was run v walk - probably abt 300ish mtrs again - but it felt pretty good to get out. it was a lovely night for a wrun... a bit overcast tho, so gps didn't accurately track. ah well.

if i'm going to get serious i need a good pair of runners, some reflective gear & a good sports bra (maybe even a new-to-me jogging stroller??) but for now, i'm enjoying just getting out & doing what i can. i've wanted to learn to run forever. now i'm finally doing something about it.

********

kinda unrelated, but i totally noticed at the ILs today that i've lost inches around me midsection. still many to go, but yay! i might actually take measurements on wed (weigh day) & then again with each visit to nutritionist. we'll see tho.

Slow & steady..

(aka nutritionist update...)

i had my first check-in with the nutritionist today, and it went better than I had expected it to. I didn't think I had lost any weight & was beating myself up about it, but turns out that I've lost 6lbs - right on track!

We'll keep the goals about the same as last time - eat fr at least 2 food groups every 3-4h (approximately when Joel has a bottle) & to work on being aware of snacking & getting treats.

next appt is in 5 weeks.. let's see how yhat goes!!

Zumba!

THere was a great deal on Dealfind last week - 15 Zumba sessions at a local studio for only $15. Seriously, what to lose? I am going with a friend, and tonight was our first class - we both LOVED it. Neither of us is the most coordinated, but it worked out all right. I'd go left when the teacher was going right, etc etc, but it worked out all right. We were just a whole sweaty mess when we finished, but that's GOOD, and it felt good too. I'm kind of excited too, as the woman will be starting an intro to hoopfit in the fall, and I"m totally all over it. i WILL lose some of this weight, dammit...

Dietician/Nutritionist consult

I finally did it - I gave in to every doctor's recommendation for me, and saw a nutritionist today. I mean, I know things have to change, but I know what to do, what to eat, yadda yadda. Any funny thing - weight still wasn't coming off.

So I went to the appointment, just at least to say I'd GONE. And y'know, the gal was pretty nice. We chatted about the shite our little family has been through this last year and a bit (IVF, J's stroke, PPD, etc) and when she asked me why I'd finally chosen to "do something about my weight", I was honest with her. that I was honestly fine in my skin, and that I'd taken the appt to shut up the doctors. But I guess something just clicked as we were talking - maybe it was the fact she didn't focus on numbers, or just say "you're fat, you need to diet". She said she LIKED my attitude of being comfortable in my skin - that so many people who look healthy are neither healthy or comfortable. There were a few things we focussed on: her expectations, being a mom and not taking time to eat/snack healthily, my emotional eating, and she taught me about hte HALT principle.

She told me that many people come to her and expect huge weight loss, but that's not why she's there. She said she expects 5-10% of starting weight over 4-6 MONTHS.. for me that 5% works out to just about a pound a week. sounds easy enough, I hope I can do it.

as far as eating/snacking healthily - she wants me to eat SOMETHING whenever I make kidlet a bottle (usually every 3-4h). small snacks from 2 food groups to keep up my energy during the day, so I don't feel draggy assed.

As for the HALT principle, it works like this...
People generally eat for HALTing reasons:
Hungry
Angry/Anxious
Lonely
Tired (bored)
Basically, when you want to eat, ask yourself "WHY" and if it's not because you're Hungry, instead of eating and then (sometimes) feeling shame/guilt/regret, do something instead of eating. For me, it'd be going down & being crafty, go to bed, read, brush teeth, or play on computer (blog/twitter/FB/play bejeweled or whatever). When I said that the last one was no good, bc I eat WHILE i play on the computer, she came up with a challenge. My laptop can't be on if I'm having a snack. This is HUGE for me. Once kidlet's in bed, I tend to flip on TV, forage and snack and play on laptop til I feel tired enough to go to bed. Now though, I have to choose. Laptop or snack.

in addition, I've been walking with Joel a LOT. I did 14k last week, and have already done 6k since Monday (and we didn't walk today). I make myself walk routes with hills, and my pace has improved since the start of summer. Hopefully between the small changes she's asked me to try, and our continued walks, I will have started to see some success by our next appointment at the end of next month. 6 lbs gone by then - totally doable, right? Right?

ok, enough BS

it's been 4.5 months since I had my little man, and I have eaten my fat arse right back to where it was when I got pg.

so no more not planning meals, and just foraging for whatever's in the house whenever i'm hungry. i have taken out some chicken for dinner, and will have chicken salsa with some rice. lunch was 2eggs & 2pcs ww toast w sf becel.

also, snacking while out NEEDS to be curbed. one treat per day that's it. if i have a chai & scone on the AM, no mcd's for lunch, etc. i'm eating altogether too much crap, and i know it must stop. plus, $$$. i'm on mat leave, and eating out is pricey!

i also stopped 'thinking' about veggies, and cut up the carrots & celery that were waiting in the crisper. thanks to having a fridge w/ freezer on bottom, this lovely bright dish is right at eye level when i open the fridge.

well hellooo

... been a while since I've been here, and much has changed in the last 13 or so months. The biggest change being that our IVF cycle was successful & we're now parents to a wonderful, almost three month old lil boy.

Now that baby's here & the weather's warming up, it's time to try and lose some of this weight.. I put on approx 25 bw pg & ivf, and by the time he was three weeks old, I'd lost that plus 10lbs. unfortunately abt 15 of that 35 has snuck back. ok, it didn't sneak. i ate crap & it came back willingly.

Eating is a bit of a struggle lately - I am still in "new mom survival mode" and grab things that are quick & easy, as opposed to what may be best. That said I have been trying to make better choices. Since hb's been back to work (few weeks now), babe & I try to get out for at least 1km walks pretty much everyday. It's not a huge walk, but it's something.

i don't know how often i'll be writing, but thought this was the best place for it...