i don't want to be the downer...

but as you all probably know...my husband lost his job yesterday. my feelings are all over the place right now...and food is the last thing i want to be thinking of right now.

in the past, i would have let this derail me and take me off track and i would continue to gain weight. now, i'm hoping that with your guys' support i'll be able to stay on the bandwagon and maybe only falter a little bit.

so, what i need now is GOOD, CHEAP, HEALTHY meals I can cook. we're going to go and do a large grocery shop in the next day or two before we officially have no money and i'd like to get stuff that i can make and freeze and have later and still be on some kind of plan.

sorry for being the downer.

random thoughts..

• I promised SB I'd start back 'on plan' on May 1 (after tax season). I think I'll round that up to Monday, and have my WI day the same as dinah's. This may help me NOT overindulge on weekends. May.


• Must wean myself off my recently re-developed caffeine addiction. Back to CF and herbal tea for this girl, and water with meals


• water. Must drink more water. I don't know how I can 'forget', but I sure seem to. I might invest in a water cooler for the basement, so I don't dehydrate in the evenings (as is currently the case).


• I've started eating more veggies again. A bag of baby carrots yesterday, a container of grape tomatoes on Sunday. See a pattern? They might as well be pringles - bet I can't eat just one :P
  


• After tonight, the birthday cake and croissants will be finished off (ok, I finished off the croissants this morning), and I'm not making/buying more.
  


• No more muffins (and Diet Coke... see point #2) for breakfast. Tea, and a ww english muffin or slice of toast w/ pb instead.
  


• I mentioned a plan way up at the top of this list. Which plan? Not sure. The Chelle plan for now. More water, veggies & fruit. Less crap, especially of the refined carb variety.

Dealing with the hunger

I could've sworn that protein is supposed to fill you up, but that's just not true for me. I just ate a meal of 4 eggs, 3 oz of ham, and some tomato. That's a lot of protein, right? But afterwards, still hungry. I find that I need carbs to fill up.

Now, I love carbs. I've always loved carbs. Mr. SB has had occasion to come home and ask what I ate that day, and when I tell him, the whole day is comprised of carbs. White bread is especially tasty, and bagels, and pasta, and potatoes. . . . However, all of these things are not exactly points-friendly.

So besides maintaining willpower, what should I be doing to fill myself up at meals more, without resorting to as many carbs?

Week 1 is almost here for me

I promised SB that I would be on plan this Monday. Monday's always seem like a good day to start a new way of living, don't they?

I had planned to find all my ww stuff and review it and get organized and shop accordingly. hah. Now, it's Saturday morning and I don't know where the ww stuff is, i haven't reviewed anything, and I haven't gone shopping. But, I still have 2 days to get my ass in gear and DO SOMETHING about it.

So, what do I need to know to get prepared?

Don't let me fall off the wagon before I even get on it.

Week 1 = done!

I finished my first week back on WW last week. At this morning's weigh in (WI from now on), I was down 4.2lbs. Woo, right?

I dunno. It's so hard at the beginning. I know it's unhealthy to have huge losses, but it's so hard to see a small loss when you're first starting and wanting your motivation. I know that if I had 6 weeks of this kind of loss, I'd be at 10% of my weight lost, which would be fabulous, right? I guess it all relates back to patience (or my lack thereof).

Aside from the scale, I think I did good this week. I drank water, ate dairy and vegetables. I had an amusing incident where I was in Shoppers and saw Jelly Bellies (my favourite). I had them in my hand, and was trying to find a treat for Mr. SB, when I remembered that I'm on WW. Totally forgot for a minute!

I did end up getting the Jelly Bellies the next day, but I've been religiously counting out 35 piece servings (3 points) and putting the rest away. It was a small bag, so they're gone now. I do much better without temptation in the house.

Exercise has been non-existent this week. It's been craptastically cold here this week, so it's been a bit hard for Superbaby and I to get out of the house. Thankfully, it's supposed to be nice again next week, so Superbaby and I will break out the stroller and get some walking done!

Speakinf of Superbaby and exercise, I think I should get activity points for wearing her while I do my housework. That's an extra 11lbs I'm carrying around for strength building!

And finally, introducing Chelle

Name: Chelle
Age: 32
Starting Weight: not willing to say, but it's closer to 300 than it needs to be.
Size: 22-24
Weightloss Goal: According to my old doctor, I should strive for a weight of 158 lbs, so 125ish lbs. Ideally I'd get below 200, but honestly? I'd be really quite happy with 30 lbs for starters. That's over 10%.
Weightloss Plan: No plan yet. Working on it. Stop stuffing my face is probably the first step. yarg.
Weightloss Strengths: uh. I like to eat. Oh wait. Maybe that's not such a good thing... Umm, I really do like veggies.
Weightloss Weaknesses: I'm a complete mix of the other two. I'm an emotional, unconscious eater. I love to eat out, love cheese, salt & all other things bad for me. I eat til my plate (or the bag...) is empty, not until I'm full. I "know better" but seem to have a mental block putting it all into practice.
Inspirations: My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few years now, and our next step is IVF. Spending $10,000 to attempt to get pregnant at this weight isn't worth it, because the procedure would most likely fail. I need to be at a healthier place before we attempt IVF, hopefully this will help me out.
General about me: My husband and I met online about 12 years ago - you know, before it was cool :P We live in Halifax, where he works for the feds, and I aspire to work for the feds. In the meantime, I'm the "girl Friday" at a small accounting firm. I also love being crafty, baking, spending time with friends and martinis. Loooove my martinis.

Introducing Dinah

Name: dinah
Age: 29...soon to be thirty. **eeks**
Starting Weight: This morning I weighed 272.6 pounds. That is a scary number
Size: Who knows? 18-22? ish. All I do know for sure is that everytime i go clothes shopping I end up having to get clothes in bigger sizes.
Weightloss Goal: In the happy perfect world I need to lose over 100 pounds. Realistically? Right now I'd be ecstatic if I lost 50 pounds.
Weightloss Plan: I'm going to try a modified WW. I get 32 points a day on WW but that really seems like to little...so I'm going to aim for 35 points a day and 35 flex points a week.
Weightloss Strengths: My Strengths? It's sad but I can't think of any strengths? i know a lot about food and plans and healthy eating. I just have problems putting it in practice.
Weightloss Weaknesses: My weakeness? Eating until I feel sick. Eating when I'm not hungry. Salt is my downfall. I love chips too much. I equate food with love. I like to eat out too much. I love cheese way too much. I don't know how to stop when I'm full.
Inspirations: I really want to be a good role model for my son, Andrew. I want him to see a healthy, strong, beautiful mom...not how I am now.
General about me: My husband and I have been together for about 4 years now. we have an almost 3 year old son. & we live in Winnipeg. I work for the Federal Gov't at a desk job. I love food. I love to eat. I craft. I crochet. I'm an open book.

Introducing SB

Name: SB
Age: 28
Starting Weight: 240
Size: 20ish
Weightloss Goal: I want to lose about 100lbs.
Weightloss Plan: Weight Watchers Flex Plan
Weightloss Strengths: I am good at counting and sticking to that. If I remember to journal everything, especially right when I eat it, I stick to the plan quite well. Also, being at home all day makes it easier to resist temptation, as long as I don't have the stuff in the house. Thankfully, Mr. SB is also doing the same plan, so we're on the same page.
Weightloss Weaknesses: I am an unconscious, emotional eater. I eat for comfort, I eat to celebrate, I eat when I'm bored. I hope that counting everything will make me actually think about what I'm eating. I'm also fairly lazy, and have a hard time getting off my (sizeable) ass to exercise.
Inspirations: I want to learn healthy eating habits in order to pass them on to my daughter, SuperBaby. I want to be healthier for her so I can be in her life longer. I never want her to be teased, like I was, about her weight. I want to redefine my relationship with food. I need to find new ways to reward/comfort/entertain myself!
General about me: I'm a lawyer in a small town, currently on mat leave. SuperBaby is just about 3 months old. While one would think that this is baby weight I'm trying to lose, I can assure you it's not. That, I lost within 3 weeks, and then I've been gaining weight since then. I thought you were supposed to lose weight when breastfeeding?

My Food Story

I feel like I have always been overweight. But looking back at pictures from when I was 10-12 years old I realize that I wasn't overweight, I was just normal. In fact, in high school I wasn't really overweight either. It wasn't until I left high school that I started to gain weight. I got a job, I went to school, I lived at home, I had nothing to spend my money on so I ate. I ate out, I ate fast-food (heck, I worked in fast-food), I ate at restaurants, I ate delivery, I ate subs, burgers, nachos, you name it I ate at it and I ate it.

Eating became my 'thing'. It soothed me when relationships ended, it calmed me when I had a test to study for, it made me happy to eat out with friends, it gave me something to do when I was bored, it it was a game to see how much 'free' food I could snatch while working, and it was what you did when you were with family & friends.

Food had always had a special place in my life. My father is a great cook and we used make things together all the time and I always enjoyed the things he made. My family is Ukranian and Polish, so food is always abundant. In fact, it is love. You ate grandma's food to show you loved her and if you didn't, well--then that obviously meant you were mad at her. Friday nights were also wonderful in my food memory. We always went out for supper on Fridays. I remember spending all of Fridays in antipation of eating out. I loved spending time with my parents that way--talking and laughing and eating.

I've tried my share of 'diets'. I can't do them. I suck. End of story.

While I was pregnant with Andrew that was probably when I ate the healthiest. 3 squares, fruits, vegetables, cottage cheese, yogurt, and salads. I couldn't eat anything cooked so ate fresh, raw, wonderful salads. I (mostly) avoided the fast food and bad for you food. I gained quite a bit of weight (like 40 pounds) but Andrew was slightly under 10 lbs, I was incredibly swollen and was at my pre-pregnancy weight within 3 weeks of giving birth. I was so happy! Then slowly the weight started to creep back on...and yet I wasn't pregnant. Now I weigh just as much as I did 9 months pregnant. It makes me sad to think this.

So this brings us where we are today. Fat. Morbidly Obese I believe is the correct term. I want to make a difference. I need to make a difference in my life. I don't want Andrew to remember me like this or learn my horrible habits and end up like me.

I am armed with the knowledge of how to eat right. I can do the exercise. I can make good choices. I have the means to lose weight. I know what needs to be done. I just need to do it. I must invite DISCIPLINE into my house as a permanent resident.

Tell me your story. :)